--- title: "How to Be Good at Being Present" description: "Unlock authentic connections and meaningful relationships by embracing the present. Learn practical strategies like monotasking and active listening to…" lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#person", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "image": "https://christianespinosa.com/__l5e/assets-v1/de07e44b-a8e0-4bcc-bcb0-13aec15421f1/headshot-front.jpg", "sameAs": [ "https://www.facebook.com/christian.espinosa.official", "https://x.com/Ironracer", "https://www.instagram.com/christian.espinosa.official/", "https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianEspinosaOfficial", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/" ], "jobTitle": "Bestselling Author, Keynote Speaker, Entrepreneur", "worksFor": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "Blue Goat Cyber", "url": "https://bluegoatcyber.com/" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#website", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#organization" }, "inLanguage": "en-US" }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#organization", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/logo.svg" }, "founder": { "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#person" }, "sameAs": [ "https://www.facebook.com/christian.espinosa.official", "https://x.com/Ironracer", "https://www.instagram.com/christian.espinosa.official/", "https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianEspinosaOfficial", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Article", "headline": "How to Be Good at Being Present - Christian Espinosa", "description": "Unlock authentic connections and meaningful relationships by embracing the present. Learn practical strategies like monotasking and active listening to…", "image": "https://christianespinosa.com/__l5e/assets-v1/f9ce7c10-7816-4ac1-add3-7c0bed72b53f/how-to-be-good-at-being-present-card.png", "datePublished": "2024-04-19T21:09:00+00:00", "dateModified": "2026-06-26T05:34:53.628Z", "mainEntityOfPage": { "@type": "WebPage", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/blog/how-to-be-good-at-being-present" }, "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/about" }, "publisher": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/logo.svg" } } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "What is the core idea behind \"How to Be Good at Being Present - Christian Espinosa\"?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Being present can mean a lot of things. In this context, it describes connections between yourself and others. Living in this state will allow you to" } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Who is this post for?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Honestly, anyone who suspects the real life is happening in the ordinary hours, not the milestones. If you want a listicle, this is not that. If you want the honest version of what I have actually lived and worked through, keep reading." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How do I actually apply this, not just nod along?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Pick the single line in the post that made you flinch or look away, and change one thing in your week because of it. One choice this week beats a whole framework you never touch." } } ] } ] --- [Skip to content](#main) [](/) [About](/about)[Speaking](/speaking)[Cybersecurity](/cybersecurity)[Programs](/programs)[Books](/books)[Media](/media) Writing Search Ctrl K[Connect](/connect) [The In-Between](/blog/category/the-in-between) # How to Be Good at Being Present April 19, 2024 3 min read 557 words To be good at this, I have to embrace the in-between. This is where everything happens. It's all the tiny moments, the ones that aren't big milestones. Most of my life is made of these moments, but I spent years ignoring them, always looking for the next big thing. ![](/__l5e/assets-v1/d057e2fa-9aee-4dc3-9c50-f76562cbbcc3/aa9fba30488e.jpg) The takeaways 1. 01 Being present means I am here, right now, with you. 2. 02 When I live this way, my interactions feel real, my relationships feel solid. 3. 03 To be good at this, I have to embrace the in-between. What to do next Pick one conversation you have been putting off where good is the real subject, and have it before the week ends. 4. 04 Most of my life is made of these moments, but I spent years ignoring them, always looking for the next big thing. Being present means I am here, right now, with you. It's about connecting, really connecting, with myself and with others. When I live this way, my interactions feel real, my relationships feel solid. It's not easy. It takes work. To be good at this, I have to embrace the in-between. This is where everything happens. It's all the tiny moments, the ones that aren't big milestones. Most of my life is made of these moments, but I spent years ignoring them, always looking for the next big thing. That way of thinking was a problem, no matter what I achieved. My journey, from obsessing over the big wins to embracing these micro-moments, is the core of my book, [_The In-Between: Life in the Micro_](https://www.amazon.com/Between-Life-Micro-Christian-Espinosa/dp/B0CP9WT8J7). ## Is Presence Possible in the Modern World? Technology is great in many ways, but it certainly impacts how we engage with others. It brings many opportunities for distraction as much as it does connection. By turning our attention to whoever or whatever is in front of us, presence is possible. One thing I practice to support being present is monotasking. It’s the opposite of multitasking and allows me to concentrate on one thing, not a million. ## Being Present Requires Active Listening One of the most important scenarios for being present is when others are in need. We can be there for others when we tune in to them and show empathy. You’ll need to be an active listener so you can ask insightful questions and show support. Being an active listener also means quieting your internal dialogue. You have to get outside of your own head to be a present and caring presence. You can also tap into feelings you’ve had when someone wasn’t present for you. That discomfort and hurt will help you not repeat the mistakes of those who failed you. You should also pay attention to your body, taking deep breaths when you begin to drift to the past or future. ## Micro-Moments Are the Present Macro-minded people spend most of their time in the past or present. They replay big mistakes or regrets or pursue only a future objective. Staying in this state means that the present doesn’t get its fair share of attention. In evolving to a place where the micro matters, you’ll realize it is the present. What you’re doing right now has great value in your story, no matter how inconsequential it seems. There are unexpected encounters and connections you’ll miss out on if you avoid being present. The danger of casting off the present is that you can lose something you care about for the future. It’s a cyclical situation that can happen over and over. However, you don’t have to stay in this pattern. You can change and grow by becoming aware, which leads to patience and empathy. These skills will bode well for you no matter what you experience. They keep you centered and in touch with the in-between. You can start your path of being present by reading my book. Kindle![](https://fls-na.amazon.com/1/batch/1/OP/ATVPDKIKX0DER:147-8684509-7331569:EZWX4FVJ1QQ5V9BCB4X8$uedata=s:%2Fuedata%2Fuedata%3Fstaticb%26id%3DEZWX4FVJ1QQ5V9BCB4X8:0) Frequently asked ### What is the core idea behind "How to Be Good at Being Present - Christian Espinosa"? ### Who is this post for? ### How do I actually apply this, not just nod along? ### Work with me I help founders and cybersecurity leaders build teams that ship, not teams that stall. If that's the problem you're trying to solve, let's talk. [Start a conversation](/contact) Share this essay [X ](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fhow-to-be-good-at-being-present&text=How%20to%20Be%20Good%20at%20Being%20Present) [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/sharing/share-offsite/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fhow-to-be-good-at-being-present) [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fhow-to-be-good-at-being-present) [Email](mailto:?subject=How%20to%20Be%20Good%20at%20Being%20Present&body=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fhow-to-be-good-at-being-present)Copy link ![Christian Espinosa, headshot](/__l5e/assets-v1/de07e44b-a8e0-4bcc-bcb0-13aec15421f1/headshot-front.jpg) About the author [Christian Espinosa](/about) · Founder & CEO, Blue Goat Cyber Christian is the founder and CEO of Blue Goat Cyber, a medical device cybersecurity firm. He's an Air Force Academy graduate, 24x Ironman, climber of two of the Seven Summits, and the author of The Smartest Person in the Room and The In-Between: Life in the Micro. Keep reading - [ ### Micro-Moments Center on the Present - Christian Espinosa The companion piece: what a present moment actually is and why they matter. Read essay → ](/blog/micro-moments-center-on-the-present) - [ ### the-accident-that-taught-me-to-live-in-the-in-between The story that made presence non-negotiable for me. Read essay → ](/blog/the-accident-that-taught-me-to-live-in-the-in-between) - [ ### Chase Your Dreams by Living in the In-Between - Christian Espinosa Presence is the doorway to the in-between. Read essay → ](/blog/chase-your-dreams-by-living-in-the-in-between) [← Previous essay The Confidence-Competence Loop - Christian Espinosa ](/blog/the-confidence-competence-loop)[Next essay → Fixation on Yourself Is a Bubble State - Christian Espinosa ](/blog/fixation-on-yourself-is-a-bubble-state) Related, Cybersecurity ### Need medical-device or offensive security expertise? Blue Goat Cyber, Christian's firm, runs FDA-aligned premarket submissions, penetration testing, and SBOM/SOUP analysis for medtech and high-stakes industries. [Explore Blue Goat Cyber](/cybersecurity) Christian Espinosa Bestselling author, keynote speaker, and Founding CEO of [Blue Goat Cyber](https://bluegoatcyber.com/). Helping technical leaders develop the soft skills that turn brilliance into impact. 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