--- title: "Your Ego is Not Your Amigo - Christian Espinosa" description: "Discover how ego undermines success and relationships, drawing from real-world and personal examples, and learn to overcome it for a more authentic and…" lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#person", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "image": "https://christianespinosa.com/__l5e/assets-v1/de07e44b-a8e0-4bcc-bcb0-13aec15421f1/headshot-front.jpg", "sameAs": [ "https://www.facebook.com/christian.espinosa.official", "https://x.com/Ironracer", "https://www.instagram.com/christian.espinosa.official/", "https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianEspinosaOfficial", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/" ], "jobTitle": "Bestselling Author, Keynote Speaker, Entrepreneur", "worksFor": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "Blue Goat Cyber", "url": "https://bluegoatcyber.com/" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#website", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#organization" }, "inLanguage": "en-US" }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#organization", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/logo.svg" }, "founder": { "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/#person" }, "sameAs": [ "https://www.facebook.com/christian.espinosa.official", "https://x.com/Ironracer", "https://www.instagram.com/christian.espinosa.official/", "https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianEspinosaOfficial", "https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Article", "headline": "Your Ego is Not Your Amigo - Christian Espinosa", "description": "Discover how ego undermines success and relationships, drawing from real-world and personal examples, and learn to overcome it for a more authentic and…", "image": "https://christianespinosa.com/__l5e/assets-v1/3c12a1cd-2ad8-4a1e-a17e-457b3abf81c5/your-ego-is-not-your-amigo-card.png", "datePublished": "2020-07-10T18:57:12+00:00", "dateModified": "2026-06-26T05:40:21.720Z", "mainEntityOfPage": { "@type": "WebPage", "@id": "https://christianespinosa.com/blog/your-ego-is-not-your-amigo" }, "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/about" }, "publisher": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "Christian Espinosa", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://christianespinosa.com/logo.svg" } } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "What is the core idea behind \"Your Ego is Not Your Amigo - Christian Espinosa\"?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Your ego is not your amigo. Your ego will cost you many things in life, including success and fulfillment. Get the ego off your back." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Who is this post for?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Honestly, anyone who suspects the real life is happening in the ordinary hours, not the milestones. If you want a listicle, this is not that. If you want the honest version of what I have actually lived and worked through, keep reading." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How do I actually apply this, not just nod along?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Pick the single line in the post that made you flinch or look away, and change one thing in your week because of it. One choice this week beats a whole framework you never touch." } } ] } ] --- [Skip to content](#main) [](/) [About](/about)[Speaking](/speaking)[Cybersecurity](/cybersecurity)[Programs](/programs)[Books](/books)[Media](/media) Writing Search Ctrl K[Connect](/connect) [The In-Between](/blog/category/the-in-between) # Your Ego is Not Your Amigo July 10, 2020 3 min read 671 words I made a video about this and that's what you're reading now. ![](/__l5e/assets-v1/fcbcb6e4-9dc7-45d1-904a-7fc554001a96/your-ego-is-not-your-amigo-hero.webp) The takeaways 1. 01 It has cost me not living up to my potential. What to do next Pick one conversation you have been putting off where cost is the real subject, and have it before the week ends. 2. 02 These are all things my own ego did to me before I learned to check it. 3. 03 A lot of people in this field have big egos. What to do next Name the one place in your life this week where people is quietly running the show, and write it down before you go to bed tonight. 4. 04 Their ego comes from wanting to be the smartest person in the room. What to do next Choose one small action tied to comes you can do in the next 24 hours that your future self would thank you for. I made a video about this and that's what you're reading now. My ego has cost me a lot. It has cost me jobs, careers, relationships. It has cost me not living up to my potential. These are all things my ego did to me. They were all negative. My ego is my image of myself, my self-worth, my identity. The key word here is "self." That’s really what an ego is. I work in cybersecurity. A lot of people in this field have big egos. Their ego comes from wanting to be the smartest person in the room. That's how they get their significance. This causes a lot of problems. If you want to be the smartest person in the room, it's hard to work well together. It's hard to come up with a solution because you might have to admit your solution isn't the best one. So the ego really affects industries and people in ways they don’t even know. One of the anchoring moments for me, and I think about this a lot now, whenever I wonder about my ego or I’m nervous about a situation because I’m afraid of what somebody might think, I think about this time when I was in college. It was Christmas break. I went home to Arkansas and my grandfather, while I was home for Christmas break, had a heart attack. My grandfather was the only male figure in my life that I looked up to and he was sort of the rock of the family. But he had this heart attack and I only had so many days for Christmas break at home before I had to go back to college. So he had this heart attack, he was in the hospital and I just had this idea that there’s no way this man can die because he’s the rock of the family. So I remember going to the hospital and he was laying there in this hospital bed, hooked up to the EKG or the heart rate monitor machine or whatever. And he was unconscious. And I remember I just stood there. I was too afraid to grab his hand or say anything. I just stood there unable to do anything. And I don’t know if it was fear or there are other people around. I thought I was worried about what they might think. But basically I think I let my ego get in the way in that scenario because the reality is I should have just grabbed his hand and told him how much he meant to me. Because after that I went back to college and he died while I was at college a few days later. So I always think back on that moment, because I had the opportunity to let somebody know before they die what they meant to me. But for some reason, I didn’t do it and I blamed it on the ego and it’s not the right way to live. And it’s something that, even today, I have a hard time putting that aside, even though I’m aware of it. And I think a lot of us do, but it’s important to put your ego aside to accomplish bigger things, to have better relationships, to be more transparent, to be more truthful, and to be more authentic. So I hope when you’re facing a situation, you think about your ego and how your ego might be playing out in that scenario. And you think maybe back to what I said here, and try to think less about your ego and more about what actually matters in that situation. In the big scheme of things it matters less what people think of us, it matters more what we do. [![Check Out The Smartest Person in The Room](/__l5e/assets-v1/2a4e60fb-7657-43f3-8e9b-9e4346105f2b/ba7fccb1c1f2.png) ](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/7462611/94f60ee8-4fbe-483b-8a0f-ad83ab12a665) Frequently asked ### What is the core idea behind "Your Ego is Not Your Amigo - Christian Espinosa"? ### Who is this post for? ### How do I actually apply this, not just nod along? ### Work with me I help founders and cybersecurity leaders build teams that ship, not teams that stall. If that's the problem you're trying to solve, let's talk. [Start a conversation](/contact) Share this essay [X ](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fyour-ego-is-not-your-amigo&text=Your%20Ego%20is%20Not%20Your%20Amigo) [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/sharing/share-offsite/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fyour-ego-is-not-your-amigo) [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fyour-ego-is-not-your-amigo) [Email](mailto:?subject=Your%20Ego%20is%20Not%20Your%20Amigo&body=https%3A%2F%2Fchristianespinosa.com%2Fblog%2Fyour-ego-is-not-your-amigo)Copy link ![Christian Espinosa, headshot](/__l5e/assets-v1/de07e44b-a8e0-4bcc-bcb0-13aec15421f1/headshot-front.jpg) About the author [Christian Espinosa](/about) · Founder & CEO, Blue Goat Cyber Christian is the founder and CEO of Blue Goat Cyber, a medical device cybersecurity firm. He's an Air Force Academy graduate, 24x Ironman, climber of two of the Seven Summits, and the author of The Smartest Person in the Room and The In-Between: Life in the Micro. Keep reading - [ ### How Your Ego Impacts Your Life - Christian Espinosa Same thread: the in between. Read essay → ](/blog/how-your-ego-impacts-your-life) - [ ### Finding Your Purpose In Life: Understanding The 7 Levels Deep Exercise - Christian Espinosa Same thread: the in between. Read essay → ](/blog/finding-your-purpose-in-life-understanding-the-7-levels-deep-exercise) - [ ### Life is Meaningless - Christian Espinosa Same thread: the in between. Read essay → ](/blog/life-is-meaningless) [← Previous essay Life is Meaningless - Christian Espinosa ](/blog/life-is-meaningless)[Next essay → The Value of Monotasking - What Jesse Itzler and Rainbow Taught Me - Christian Espinosa ](/blog/the-value-of-monotasking-what-jesse-itzler-and-rainbow-taught-me) Related, Leadership ### Bring this conversation to your team Christian keynotes on cybersecurity leadership, ego in tech, and building human-first technical teams. Available for corporate events, conferences, and executive offsites. [Book Christian to speak](/speaking) Christian Espinosa Bestselling author, keynote speaker, and Founding CEO of [Blue Goat Cyber](https://bluegoatcyber.com/). Helping technical leaders develop the soft skills that turn brilliance into impact. [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/)[](https://x.com/Ironracer)[](https://www.instagram.com/christian.espinosa.official/)[](https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianEspinosaOfficial)[](https://www.facebook.com/christian.espinosa.official) Explore - [About](/about) - [Timeline](/timeline) - [Speaking](/speaking) - [Cybersecurity](/cybersecurity) - [Programs](/programs) Read - [Books](/books) - [Guides](/guides) - [Blog](/blog) - [Media](/media) - [Podcast Interviews](/podcasts) - [Success Stories](/success-stories) Connect - [Contact Christian](/connect) - [LinkedIn ↗](https://www.linkedin.com/in/christianespinosa/) - [Blue Goat Cyber ↗](https://bluegoatcyber.com/) - [Resources](/resources) © 2026 Christian Espinosa. All rights reserved. [Privacy](/privacy-policy)[Terms](/terms-of-use)