Category
The In-Between: Personal Growth & Self-Awareness
Congruence, identity, intention, and presence in the moments between milestones.
42 posts
About the author
Christian Espinosa: experience behind the essays
I’m an Air Force veteran, author, and founder of Blue Goat Cyber. My writing draws on building Alpine Security, leading cybersecurity teams, and working in medical device cybersecurity.
Professional background, Blue Goat Cyber & cybersecurity work →Congruence, Identity, and Intentional Living
Personal growth is not only what happens at a milestone. It is what you practice between milestones: how you respond, what you pay attention to, and whether your choices reflect what matters to you.
In The In-Between, I explore self-awareness through congruence, identity, intention, reflection, and presence. These essays connect the inner work of understanding yourself with the ordinary decisions that shape your relationships and leadership.
Belonging and competence are different questions. The identity essays explore how I participate in a room; the confidence guide focuses on practicing a particular ability.
These themes also run through my book The In-Between: Life in the Micro.
Confidence Guide: Practice, Congruence, and Speaking connects skill-building, aligned action, and speaking practice; choose a focused essay or a short FAQ answer for your next challenge.
What Is Congruence? Daily Practice & Leadership
Explore how to become more congruent and how alignment affects leadership, with practical repairs, honest communication, and accountability.
From Self-Awareness to Aligned Action
What Is Congruence? Meaning, Examples, & How to Practice It
Start with alignment: understand where your values, feelings, words, and actions agree or diverge.
My Primary Question: From “Do I Belong?” to “I Belong”
Explore my belonging question and the reminder that helped me participate rather than audition.
I Am Statements: Examples and How to Use Them
Connect realistic identity language to an action you can actually practice.
The Power of Questions
Examine the questions that direct your attention and shape your choices.
Acting With Intention: What It Means and How to Make It a Habit
Move from noticing a pattern to choosing how you want to respond.
Reflection Is Part of the Messy and Uncomfortable Growth Process
Review what happened and use it to make your next choice more deliberate.
All Essays in The In-Between: Personal Growth & Self-Awareness
Jul 22, 2026
How to Reframe Negative Thoughts: Four Practical Steps
Reframe a difficult thought by naming the story, checking the facts, finding a truer sentence, and choosing an appropriate action. A first-person practice.
Jul 21, 2026
An Ending Isn't A Failure. It's Time Doing Its Job.
Selling Alpine, losing friendships that were built for one season, and losing the version of me that walked into an Illinois intersection in 2022 all taught me the same thing: endings aren't verdicts.
Jul 19, 2026
The Long Walk, The Marathon, And The Friendship You Get To Keep For A Few Days
I read The Long Walk in high school and thought about it at mile 22 of every Ironman. The movie added something new: a friendship worth having even when you know it ends.
Jun 26, 2026
Too Old Is a Decision, Not an Age: How People Quietly Stop Living
Most people don't run out of time, they run out of permission. Why too old is a story you tell yourself, and how identity calcification turns living into existing.
Jun 24, 2026
I Am Statements: Examples and How to Use Them
Use I am statements to examine self-talk and support deliberate action. Explore identity-language examples, an honest rewrite, and the limits of affirmations.
Jun 22, 2026
Bells Beach, Point Break, And Choosing True Over Safe
Made it to Bells Beach, Victoria, where Point Break filmed Bodhi's final wave. A bucket-list stop, and a reminder of the line from the movie that quietly shaped how I make decisions: choose what's true over what's safe.
Jun 21, 2026
Don't Stop Believing: The Comeback Isn't Dramatic
Six blood clots in 2022. A year later, a finish line at IRONMAN 70.3 Chattanooga and a song I used to think was cheesy. What nobody tells you about coming back from something that almost killed you.
Jun 21, 2026
Tulum, Prosecco, and the Sign I Almost Missed
I'd just sold Alpine Security and every instinct said grind the next thing. Then I sat still in Tulum long enough to hear what was actually around me, and the next move got obvious.
Jun 21, 2026
Through Immersion Comes Clarity
Sixteen-hour days on AI and the business aren't balanced or sustainable, but they're the fastest way to see the gaps you've been stepping over for years.
May 9, 2026
The Accident That Taught Me to Live in the In-Between
I spent decades chasing the next summit, the next exit, the next certification. Then a crash in an Illinois intersection taught me the micro-moment is the whole game.
Mar 14, 2026
The Smartest Person in the Room Is Usually Wrong
The smartest person in the room is usually the one losing the war. After 25 years in cybersecurity, here is why ego, not technology, is the real breach.
Aug 20, 2024
Acting With Intention: What It Means and How to Make It a Habit
Are we always acting with intention? Sometimes, we are aware of it; other times, it seems like it’s just a reaction. Intention can also be a double-edged
Aug 6, 2024
No One Wants to Feel Alone in Times of Need
There are many variations of the concept of the loneliness of humanness. They say we are born and die alone. In between those two moments, we create
Aug 2, 2024
Trying to Do the Right Thing and Getting It All Wrong
Most of us are always trying to do the right thing. Except, we often get it all wrong. I came to this realization while I was recuperating from a health
Jul 23, 2024
Shedding Your Defense Modes
Everybody has the capacity to shift into defense mode. It’s a normal reaction to go into self-preservation behaviors. Sometimes, they occur when others
Jul 18, 2024
Getting Thoughtful About Intentions
Intention is an action. It’s how we define what we expect from ourselves in a situation. It involves how we want to feel or what we want to achieve.
Jul 16, 2024
Openness to Input and Feedback Drives Self-Correction
If we never experience the feedback of others, we can only rely on our own. It’s often faulty, so self-correction is seldom. We continue to repeat the
Jun 26, 2024
Micro-Moments Center on the Present
Micro-moments often pass us by. We usually don’t realize their beauty or importance because of an obsession with the macro. The mindset of the macro
Jun 26, 2024
Shifting Your Identity to a Serving State
Identity is fluid if you’re open to evolving and changing. Everything we experience impacts our identity. Mine was once very rigid and self-serving, even
Jun 19, 2024
Informed Intentions Make You Less Vulnerable to Circumstances
Intentions are a normal part of the human experience. We may have the best intentions in mind in a situation, but they can quickly spiral out of control
Jun 12, 2024
Trauma Creates a Wall to Micro-Moments
Everyone carries around the residue of trauma. Some of us have had more than our fair share, but it’s impossible to go through the human experience
Jun 12, 2024
Chase Your Dreams by Living in the In-Between
Dreams and aspirations are part of the human spirit. Many of us set goals and intentions toward making these a reality. However, much of the time, it
Jun 10, 2024
Putting a Goal of Awareness into Action
Those who wish to be more present, empathetic, and emotionally healthy must have awareness. It’s two-fold. You need to have self-awareness and be able to
Jun 10, 2024
Unexpected Connections Can Have a Big Impact
Most of our interactions with people throughout the day are merely casual exchanges. We expect little to learn or grow from these moments. However,
Apr 29, 2024
Indecision and Regret: The Inner Monologue
Almost everyone has an inner dialogue. This conversation that goes on inside our heads replays a lot of indecision and regret. When we don’t do things
Apr 28, 2024
Focusing on the Macro at the Expense of the Moment
Macro and micro are descriptors we use to demonstrate the difference between something large or great and something small. In this instance, the macro
Apr 22, 2024
Fixation on Yourself Is a Bubble State
It’s easy to fixate on your own needs, problems, and desires. While sometimes this is necessary, much of the time, it causes more harm than good. Fixation
Apr 19, 2024
How to Be Good at Being Present
Being present can mean a lot of things. In this context, it describes connections between yourself and others. Living in this state will allow you to
Aug 27, 2021
How Your Ego Impacts Your Life
There are ways to control your ego (not your amigo). If you manage your ego you will live a much happier, healthier life.
Aug 23, 2021
How Emotional States Can Slow Down and Speed Up Time
When we learn how emotions affect how we perceive time, we can easily control how we feel and perceive time.
Aug 18, 2021
Finding Your Purpose In Life: Understanding The 7 Levels Deep Exercise
The concept of purpose is a very common theme in modern society. One of the many ways to find purpose is the 7 Levels Deep Exercise.
Aug 11, 2021
The Power of Questions
There are many ways to approach a problem. We often get caught up thinking about answers when we should be looking for the right question.
Aug 10, 2021
What Is Congruence? Meaning, Examples, & How to Practice It
What is congruence in psychology and communication? Learn how to align your feelings, values, words, and actions, with examples and a practical daily exercise.
Jun 20, 2021
Empathy vs. Sympathy
Empathy is to feel and connect with people, while sympathy drives disconnection. Empathizing is being together with the person in the dark so they are not alone while sympathizing is saying “Too bad!” from afar.
Mar 6, 2021
Fixed vs. Growth Mindset
Our mindset is crucial because it affects our ability to learn new skills and cope with everyday challenges. A growth mindset is preferable.
Jul 20, 2020
Are You Caught in the Success Trap?
A lot of us fall into the success trap. We've achieved success, according to how society defines success, but we're unfulfilled and we feel trapped.
Jul 15, 2020
The Hero's 2 Journeys - Achievement & Transformation
The hero's 2 journeys are achievement, which is external, and transformation, which is internal. For any good story, we need these two elements.
Jul 13, 2020
FOMO vs JOMO
FOMO is the fear of missing out. JOMO is the joy of missing out. You will be less anxious, more fulfilled, and get more done if you practice JOMO.
Jul 13, 2020
How to Get More Time in Your Day Without Waking Up Earlier
In this post we'll cover three tips to make you more productive and give you back more time in your day without having to cut into your sleep.
Jul 12, 2020
The Value of Monotasking - What Jesse Itzler and Rainbow Taught Me
Multitasking is a thing of the past. Monotasking can help you reclaim your agenda by making you productive, instead of busy.
Jul 10, 2020
Your Ego is Not Your Amigo
Your ego is not your amigo. Your ego will cost you many things in life, including success and fulfillment. Get the ego off your back.
Jul 10, 2020
Life is Meaningless
Life is really meaningless. I know this sounds controversial, and some of you may be questioning what I'm saying. Some of you may have already turned this