If you want to grow and evolve as a human, it can be uncomfortable. If it weren’t, we’d all be a bit more aware and enlightened. What I’ve learned is that growth isn’t possible without reflection.

Reflection can come in a moment or much later. Enabling yourself to do this on a regular basis is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. It’s a big part of my new book, The In-Between: Life in the Micro. It chronicles my successes and failures as a leader, partner, and person. At its core, it’s about welcoming the micro to balance with the macro.

What Is Reflection?

I define reflection as connecting the dots and absorbing a scenario or situation to translate it. We have to reflect on our actions and responses as well as those around us. When we make time for reflection, we can learn from it. It drives greater awareness, which is crucial for growth.

Why Reflection Matters

A life in the macro makes no time for feedback or evolution. It’s the relentless pursuit of goals at the cost of others. Continuing this cycle is a destination for loneliness and repeating the same mistakes.

Reflection needs to be intentional. It should be something you actively practice. You can begin small, but eventually, you’ll need to pay attention to your past regrets. Only when you reflect on these instances in life can you move forward. Otherwise, they limit your capacity to grow.

Reflection and Feedback

When I began to give the in-between the attention it deserved, I was also open to feedback from others. I was able to digest it and not be immediately defensive or dismissive. Now, I see it as an opportunity to learn about others and myself.

By gaining and using this feedback, I was able to become more aware and reflective. It’s a loop, and your growth depends on it remaining so.

Reflection and Insight

From these cycles of feedback, I also gained insight. I could look back at defining traumas in my life with a new lens. I could see how others didn’t reflect and how detrimental that had been. I never wanted to repeat those patterns, but it drove me to be more macro-focused.

The insights, however, keep me in this continuous growth phase. I want to be a better person, so I practice reflection to gain insights.

The insights may not come immediately. You may have to dig deeper to reach an epiphany. The point is to keep trying.

Reflection Is a Spark

Another thing to consider is how reflection is a spark. It ushers in the idea of change because of the feedback and insights. It’s complex but so worth it, as this new perspective can be a moment of transformation. You can continue this progress of growth by being consistent about reflection.

It’s going to be uncomfortable and messy, but reflection is worth the energy. You can learn more about how I embraced reflection by reading my book.